Archive for love

Receiving and Surrendering

{ July 21, 2008 @ 1:36 p07 } · { love, meaning }
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I just read a very powerful statement in Passion and Purity. It talks about why we should surrender everything to God. Before, it wasn’t clear why I should surrender everything to Him. I kept on thinking, “why?” And God was just kept on asking me to surrender. Now I know why.

He gave all.

He asks for all.

Because of His great love, He gave His only son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross for all our sins. He saved us from the punishment we were due. And because He didn’t hold anything back from us, He asks us to do the same.

I am bought with a price. And God paid for me. Now He asks me for my life. To give everything to Him. And when I really think about it, my life is worth nothing. Yet He asks for it. And the best thing that I can do is to give it to Him. To let Him use me for His glory and for His great plan. I have received the best from Him. Now all I have to do is to surrender my all.

Oh Child by Nevertheless

I want to come closer
But you are so distant
Lately your thoughts are so far
And I want to show you all that you’re missing
I’ll meet you right where you are

Oh love, I’ve always known you
Oh love, you’ve always been mine
Oh love, I’m only asking you for your life

Say that you need me
I know what you’re feeling
You cannot do this alone
I gave my word and I gave you my life
So you’ll never be on your own

Oh love, I’ve always known you
Oh love, you’ve always been mine
Oh love, I’m only asking you for your life

Is this what you wanted?
Is this what you needed?
(You’re waiting for this life to be what you’ve been waiting for…)

Oh love, I’ve always known you
Oh love, you’ve always been mine
Oh love, I’m only asking you for your life
Oh love, I’ve always known you
Oh love, you’ve always been mine
Oh child, I’m only asking you for your life

Addict

{ November 16, 2007 @ 1:36 p11 } · { books, love }
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It’s the high feeling. The feeling that the world shrinks and everything around you vanishes. It’s the irritation when someone disturbs you. the dreamy sigh when you reluctantly decide to rejoin the real world. This is addiction. 

I’ve been reading books ever since I could read. No. Let me rephrase that. I’ve been reading books ever since I memorized one. So that’s not not called reading, right? Well, other people thought I could read since my eyes moved while I would read out loud. And everything I read is correct. That book was a Mother Goose Book. I still remember how much I loved it. It was big and hardbound. It had beautiful illustrations and I learned about a house that was inside a house which is inside another house and so on. That was when my love affair with reading and books started.

When I was in 4th grade, I started reading the Baby-Sitters’ Club books by Ann M. Martin. I was captivated by the simplicity of her words yet the way she described things, like Stacey’s fashionable clothes, Claudia’s creative style, their shopping and baby-sitting adventures and whatnot. I collected a lot of those books and reread them many times.

Tidbit: It was because of the Baby-Sitters’ Club that I got curious about debate (Kristy and the Kidnapper). =)

The series ended in 2000 and it’s a good thing that I bought the last book the same time it was released. I practically grew up with Kristy’s leadership skills, Mary Ann’s quietness, Claudia’s art, and Stacey’s New Yorker behavior. I can say that I had the best childhood because of them.

I started exploring other teen books like Gossip Girl, The Clique, Sweet Valley Jr. High, etc. I spent my high school days with those rich snob girls and got lost in their world of fashion, back-biting, expensive juices, trips to New York, brawling over the latest designer clothes, and all that glitz. That was also the time when I got hooked to Candy magazine and I wanted to be a fashion designer.

College came and my taste in books and magazines changed. I now look at an author’s writing style and the plot of the story. I don’t impulsively buy books just because I collect that series. I must say that the first thing that makes me fall in love with a book is the author’s ability to describe even the simplest things in beautiful words.

Being an only child and staying in the house for days didn’t bore me at all. In fact, I love it! Being the book addict that I am, I never lived a lonely life. I now travel to India and New York through Kiran Desai’s Inheritance of Loss. I’ve been attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry for seven years now and I’ve been with Harry Potter and his friends everytime they go to the Three Broomsticks and consume mugs of butterbeer. I’ve been to China with Adeline Yen Mah and witnessed her Chinese Cinderella life. I cried with her when her Niang treats her bad. I watched her stepsiblings with envy as they get to wear new European-style clothes while Adeline got traditional Chinese clothes. I studied with her while she wept. I experienced life during the Great Depression as I visited Scout and Jem Finch. I saw how blacks were discriminated during that era. I was enchanted by the courtroom scene and how Atticus finch defended marginalized people with all that he had. I learned that I shouldn’t kill a mockingbird.

Now, I’m curious about Haruki Murakami’s novels and I want to read a lot of books. I guess, being an addict is like that.

To quote Kiran Desai in The Inheritance of Loss,

“Books were making her restless. She was beginning to read faster, more, until she was inside the narrative, and the narrative inside her, the pages going by so fast, her heart in her chest–she couldn’t stop.”

I don’t want to feel trapped in monotonous routines. I want an escape. And this is my escape. My drug.      

 

Latin Mass

{ November 11, 2007 @ 1:36 p11 } · { life, love, meaning }
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A regular Sunday. My roommate and I woke up at 6am to attend the 7am mass. I hope that I can wake up early every Sunday and attend this mass as it is more peaceful and the church is less crowded. But halfway through the mass, my mind seems to fly away from the church and the mass and it settled on my unfinished news stories for Com22. I kept on revising a day schedule in my head while “listening” to the homily. After church, grab some breakfast, start writing my news stories, then go to the briefing for the David Pomeranz concert at 1pm. I can never give all my attention to what the priest was saying. Unlike Wednesday college nights, my whole attention is on the message of God and my mind stays put. What is it with the regular Catholic mass that it just can’t catch my attention for a whole one hour?

I think it’s because I’ve been attending these masses since I was a baby. No. I didn’t attend. My mother dragged me to go to church. But when I opened my inbox and read the article in New York Times about Pope Benedict XVI allowing the traditional or Tridentine Mass and listened to the audio slideshow, it was mysterious, enchanting. And for me, it seemed more sacred than the Mass I attend every Sunday in English or the vernacular. There really is something about the traditional mass that makes it more solemn and quiet.

According to Kelly Rein, 16, “It’s quiet. People are paying attention. In the English Mass, it’s noisy. There are babies crying. But here people are completely focused on God.”

More than 40 years ago , the groundbreaking Second Vatican Council introduced Mass in the vernacular, sending the Latin Mass into disuse and alienating some Catholics.

But last summer, Pope Benedict XVI eased restrictions on the rite, and new celebrations of the Latin Mass are flowering. To the surprise of many, the rite has attracted priests and parishioners too young to have experienced the Latin Mass when it was the norm.

The Tridentine Mass was codified at the Council of Trent in 1570, after which it is named. In it, the priest faces the altar, not the congregation. He prays in Latin, much of it in a whisper, although readings from Scripture and the sermon are in the vernacular. A missal in Latin and English allows parishioners to follow along.

“There’s a curiosity, and it is consistent with people looking for the transcendent and holy, which they maybe didn’t see in the Mass they attended growing up,” said the Rev. Keith F. Pecklers, professor of liturgy at Pontifical Gregorian University in Rome.

Reading all this makes me want to go to Rome or somewhere where a Tridentine mass is performed. I want to feel the mystery and experience it personally. Maybe…….

Source: The New York Times, November 10, 2007

The Beginning

{ October 28, 2007 @ 1:36 p10 } · { Yabang Pinoy!, life, love, travel }
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NDC may be over but this is just the beginning of everything.

Just got back from Baguio City. Major weather adjustment.

Anyway, I’m back to reality. But I’m not complaining here. I had fun during the NDC. =)

–Baguio was lovely. I love the weather and I hope that I could bring it with me wherever I go. I just didn’t have enough time to really explore the place. I’d have to come back someday.

–PMA is the most beautiful campus I had ever been to. Words are not enough to describe it. Definitely.

–And of course, being in PMA allowed the NDC participants to meet some cadets and actually take a peek at their everyday lives. After one week in PMA, I now fully appreciate everything that soldiers do just to protect the citizens. They may look stiff in their uniforms and their expressions may tell everyone that they are tough but one week was enough to make me understand that they are human, too. Human beings who make big sacrifices to answer their calling and serve the country. It was fun seeing them laugh, talk excitedly, and all that. Even if they still walk stiffly. =)

–This tournament made me appreciate debate as more than just debate. This tournament showed me that debate is a delicate art that needs time and patience and perseverance for one to succeed and bask in the sense of fulfillment and satisfaction it can give. I met different debaters from all over the country and saw varying degrees of commitment to the craft. And it’s all beautiful.

–My fellow debaters from the SU Debsoc. You guys are super fun to be with. I can never forget all the laughter, late-night to early morning chicka sessions, shopping, eating out, and basically, just being together and being one big happy family. I’ll never ever forget you guys. You made my life even more beautiful. I’m looking forward to more debates and fun in the future. =)

After all that, one question still remains unanswered. What next? I’d have to say that this is just the beginning of everything. After meeting people who are dedicated enough to suffer for our country, people who love debate and value freedom of expression, people who laugh despite the pain, it just made me see life in a different perspective. It made me see that life is indeed beautiful and there’s more to what you have now if you just look in the right place.

I guess I just have to go with the flow. Life will take me to where I’m supposed to be. And while I’m on my way there, I’ll just sit back and enjoy the journey. =)

Rant

{ September 18, 2007 @ 1:36 p09 } · { books, love, rant }
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This is going to be just plain ranting. I need to de-stress myself before starting on my Com21 homework. Okay. So my ranting time starts now…

What have I been doing for the whole afternoon? Doing my BC25 stuff. I’m drained. No. Wait. I shouldn’t be drained. Kuya Noel did all the work this afternoon. I guess thinking about something too much (particularly something that has a deadline) makes one drained. All my creative juices are squeezed out of my head because of all the formal stuff that BC25 requires (wordiness is a no-no). I feel so…uninspired.

My only source of inspiration at the moment is my copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows which I won’t be having much time to read. Waaaaaaaah!! I’m getting at the good chapters. No. Let me restate that. Every chapter is a good one. That’s why I am so eager to read it. I woke up early for the past two days just to read Harry Potter 7 with a cup of hot coffee and enjoy the cool mornings we’ve been having these past few days. Reading Harry Potter 7 is…heaven. I feel like I am drinking the yummiest coffee in the whole wide world everytime I read it. But I want to take my time and savor every word, sentence, paragraph, chapter, in short, the whole book! I want to savor the giddiness I feel because this will be the last time that I will feel giddy over a Harry Potter book. All the waiting is over. No more Harry Potter book to wait for. No more eagerness in reading the whole Harry Potter book. I’ve read almost everything. =(
Even though I have waited for the seventh book ever since the I finished reading the sixth book (which was two years ago, I guess), I feel really sad that the series has ended.

Anyway, have to stop this. I still have tons of homework waiting for me and a Filipino13 exam to study for. Harry Potter can wait. But I think I’ll wake up early again tomorrow and read a chapter with a cup of hot coffee. =) Just something to wake me up in time for my 7am class.

Baghdad’s intellectual core suffered, too

{ September 17, 2007 @ 1:36 p09 } · { books, life, love }
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An article from the new York Times really caught my eye. Normally, I wouldn’t read stuff about Baghdad anymore because I feel sick and tired of the war. But this is a new angle. It wasn’t about the American soldiers anymore or about the hundred’s of Iraqis dying. This one is about the death of the Mutanabi Street market which was the source of joy of Baghdad’s intelligentsia.

Mr. Ismail turned and faced the street. “Books, books: five books for 1,000 dinars, one for 250,” he shouted, his voice thick as a tenor’s, from his years of studying acting. “Come on, come on, those who are hungry for literature!”

Exactly 15 men looked on.

    I cannot imagine how life for these men had been for the past year when a daytime curfew was imposed for almost a year. Mutanabi is the capital’s 1,000-year-old intellectual core and that day, which was a Friday, people celebrated the market’s potential revival.
    A bombing on March 5 sealed this beautiful business and it hasn’t been opened until now.
    Despite people dying because of the war, the booksellers are slowly testing their freedom by opening their beloved bookshops for business.
Here is the paragraph that really tugged at my heart strings:

Books, on the other hand, brought reliable joy. Mr. Ismail picked up a black hardcover history of the Kurds, with an attractive photo on the front. Tapping it twice with his right hand, sending dust flying, he kissed the cover and said, “We are happy to be here again with these beautiful books.”

   Imagine the solace and comfort these books are giving to people like Mr. Ismail who have been haunted by the horrors war have brought to Iraq.

Here is a poem written by Ibn Al-Utri:

Baghdad in the ninth century, after rampaging armies destroyed the city in a dispute involving caliphate succession.

“Who invaded you, Baghdad?” Mr. Shatry said, his voice rising for the performance.

Weren’t you once as dear to me as my eye?

Wasn’t there a time when people lived within you, when being neighbors was a blessing?

Then the crow came and divided them. How much grief can you endure?

I swear by God, there are people lost who, whenever I remember them, my eyes start flowing with tears.
I am glad that the comfort I have always found in reading books have reached even war-torn Iraq. That despite the terrors war have brought upon them, they haven’t forgotten the beauty and warmth of books. =)